No Solicitors

For many, new year's resolutions are an opportunity to bring change and improvement to their lives. Unfortunately, it's also a cue to bring a rash of solicitors into eTrinsic, my place of employment. It seems their resolution was to forget how to read, blissfully dismissing two conspicuously placed "No Solicitors" signs taped to the front door. Peddling everything from crummy inspirational posters to spa packages for the ladies, these untouchables are determined to be welcomed into the office. They are frequently disappointed.

A coworker of mine (driven to madness by being forced to rid our building of these pests up to three times a day) composed and posted a short essay, basically declaring, "Fuck off, we're busy". Since we are a graphics company, I thought it would be nice to create a complementary image to hang below the decree. My CEO, however, would have no one of it; not only was I not allowed to hang it on the door, I'm fairly certain I'm not allowed to show it to anybody at all. So here it is anyway:



Why someone else hates blogs
Laura S has no confidence in her writing skill. Her fears are entirely understandable, of course, as in one of her most recent posts she foretells of a Superbowl terrorist act, based on the fact that… drum roll, please… lots of Muslims live in the United States. She then provides no less than 12 sources, each citing a figure between 1.2 and 7 million Muslim residents. Thanks, Laura, telling statistics indeed. I'm surprised there was no Superbowl wrap up post, accusing the fundamentalist referees of declaring Jihad against Seattle. Must be a Steelers fan.

Anyway, that was not the intent of my post. Here she states her literary insecurities:

http://averageamericanintheusa.blogspot.com/
Why I hate blogging
1. You have to kiss ass to get people to link to you
2. You have to be a damn literary scholar to get hits
3. You have to be articulate and keep up on current events
4. You have to be a computer nerd to have a good looking blog.
5. You have to use "sensationalism" to get noticed by anyone that matters
6. You have to pay for the good stuff
7. You have to post all the damn time if you want to keep people interested
8. You have to be careful what you say cause you never know who's looking
9. You have to post lots of links and pics to support what you write about
10. you have to send a lot of emails and post alot of places to get noticed!

Oh Laura S, your poor soul! Has the blogging world become so elitist that no one showers you with praise over your poorly-written, inarticulate, dull, ugly, rarely-updated, timid, text-heavy efforts?

Perhaps her expanded list of "50 reasons I hate blogging" includes such diverse elements as:

34. You have to form sentences
56. You have to type your words, you can't just think them onto the computer
82. You occasionally have to type something worth putting on the Internet, or OMG NOBODY WILL READ YOUR BLOG AND YOU WILL WALLOW IN OBSCURITY FOREVER AND EVER