Tony Tiger II

First, allow me to apologise for the delay in this post. I have been preoccupied with a low fever and a leaky bum.

Chapter I

Chapter 2: I would take you to the park and flod out a blekent

It would be unfair to claim that everyone was on board with my original scheme. One of my detractors was my roommate, the lovely Mrs. Dunstein. An epitome of kindness and civility, she felt that my womanly masqueradings were inappropriate, regardless of the severity of my intentions. However, after being read aloud the first of Tony Tiger's odes to the English language, she at least saw the value in the bi-product of my plan, however unintentional.

And then, a few days later, and without any provocation, I received this:

this is my dream date... this i would do treat you like a queen...

I would pick you up at your house give you a single rose and a box of candy and give you a kiss and then i would open the door for you the car and the house...And then ever time is red light i want to kiss you intill the light turns green and then i would take you to a restruant and it will be a candle light dinner and a wine bolt for you and me.. and I would buy you any thing on the menu and then I would take you to the dance floor and dance with you.. if you dont how to dance I would show you hot too I am a very good dancer and I like to drity dance.. then I would take you to the movies and buy you pop and some popcorn and then if you want some candy I would buy it for you too.. and then you and me cudle and watch a movie and then you and me hold hands and cudle and kiss if you dont like the movie I would make out with you the whole movie.. And then after that I would take you to the park and flod out a blekent for you and me and put some romance music on and then you and me cudle and hold hands and just lok at the stars and kiss.. if you want to go more then that i would let you do the first step I am a true gentel man.. And then I would take you home and give you a night kiss I would say can I have another date with you again?

that is me did you like it?

Items for discussion:

I would pick you up at your house
Bear in mind, this is the man who informed me not three days prior that he was "trying to save a car and aww that stuff". I can only assume that I would be treated like a queen that happens to be perched on the handlebars of a Huffy ten speed.

i would open the door for you the car and the house
I don’t think the car, house and I are all going to fit.

ever time is red light i want to kiss you intill the light turns green
I can picture an eternity spent kissing at a stop sign as he patiently waits for it to change colour.

… and a wine bolt for you and me
I think I have a few of those in my toolbox.

I am a very good dancer and I like to drity dance..
I am now convinced that "drity dancing" is something the kids do these days, and not a misspelling at all. Either that, or he's very consistent with his idiocy.

and then you and me cudle and watch a movie
Movie, perhaps. But I don't cudle, not on a first date.

if you dont like the movie I would make out with you the whole movie
It's suggestions like this that would cause me to force a smile for the duration of "Big Momma’s House 2".

I would take you to the park… and then you and me cudle and hold hands and just lok at the stars and kiss.. if you want to go more then that i would let you do the first step
What first date is complete without being fucked in the park? Tony Tiger, you truly are a gentleman.

Next time, a considerably more desperate Tony Tiger reaffirms his feelings for Heather, expands his list of interests, and spells his place of employment wrong! Don’t miss "Chapter 3: I tell you I am no bumb!"