Playing tug of war with Cyclops

No, really, playing tug of war with Cyclops.

Why I hate blogs: Reader submissions… with PRIZES!

It occurred to me the other day that I've spent so much of the last week or two rebutting previous WIHB entries, that I haven't bothered to find any new ones. So, dear readers, I'm placing this responsibility-laden task heavily on your shoulders.

All you need to do is find a particularly shitty blog (hosted by any service), write a very short summary of what you despise about it, and pass it along via IM or email (no comments on the blog itself, please). Contact details here.

IF YOUR ENTRY IS SELECTED, you will receive a $10 gift certificate - no, that's too much - a $5 gift certificate to some place awesome, like the grocery store.

If you do not wish to be credited for your discovery, let me know, and I will bear the agony of the ensuing hate mail. And speaking of (this is what we call a "segue", folks)…

More WIHB hatemail

It seems that LJ users were not the only ones to express concerns over my public mockery (they're just more proactive. And whinier). Velvet Mouth and her co-conspirator in sexual frustration, the Dawg, had plenty to say amongst themselves about my well-researched review of her "perverted nonsense" (she didn’t like that). However, rather than use the pinpoint accuracy of scientific analysis, as I chose to do, they went the baseless accusation/sweeping generalization route. Here is a summary of their findings:

• My mother did not love me enough as a child
• I am not accustomed to sexual union
• I hate women who are not afraid to speak about their sexuality
  (Apparently that’s the correct description of someone who takes umbrage with a married mother of small children displaying her creaky minge for the entire Internet’s perusal).
• Anyone who links to Gwar's website from their blog is a "fucking idiot"

Those slanderous bastards! Only 3 of those 4 things are true, and they know it!

However, Velvet Mouth was kind enough to post a considerably more polite comment in this 'ere blog, ripe for the brain picking:

All I can say is everyone has the right to write about and like whatever they want! This is such a small part of my life, my blog is more like my diary, I am not looking for comments, and I cant help who reads it.
At least I am open minded enough to let people be. I dont have a blog dedicated to bashing other people's blogs !!
Thanks for taking the time to write about me though! :)
p.s. its called age play I didnt invent it.

Take a deep breath, count to ten, think about the nice places that you've been.

All I can say is everyone has the right to write about and like whatever they want!
You're absolutely right, Velvet Mouth, you have truly opened my eyes. I will now be deleting any entries on my blog that you don't like, because… oh wait.

my blog is more like my diary
Ah yes, a diary; a private haven for our deepest and most intimate thoughts and fantasies. Of course, when ever I have any of those, the first thing I do is put it on the Internet right next to a picture of my penis.

I am not looking for comments
You know, if you just wrote this crap down on paper, or perhaps typed it in a Word file and emailed it yourself, you wouldn't have to worry about ANY comments.

and I cant help who reads it.
Uh oh, Dawg! Looks like you're getting a bit of ye olde cold shoulder there!

At least I am open minded enough to let people be. I dont have a blog dedicated to bashing other people's blogs !!
Dedicated? Not at all, the WIHB segment is merely a bonus; my blog is actually dedicated solely to the pursuit of awesomity. Think of the blog as a yummy fruit tart from Denver's "The Market" restaurant:


"Why I hate blogs" is just the kiwis.

Thanks for taking the time to write about me though! :)
You're most welcome. You know, before I critiqued your blog, I generally dismissed WIHB entries with a sentence or two, sometimes even one word. But I really challenged myself to capture the essence of your blog, and fully explore what I hated about it. As a result, I've improved my critical writing skills tremendously. Perhaps it is I that should be thanking you.

p.s. its called age play I didnt invent it.
And the award for the "Lousiest Reason for Something Not Being Weird goes to…"
Seriously, just because Pee Wee Herman wasn't the first weirdo to jerk it in public, that doesn't make it any less gross.

And, in closing, a final thought from the Dawg:
"Yes I'm HORNY 24/7 women should make any man horny 24/7."
Yes, but some of us have, you know, jobs… hobbies… I'm more of a 16/5 man myself.