Tony Tiger: part the third
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3: I tell you I am no bumb!
Oh Tony Tiger, you are truly the gift that keeps on unintenionally giving. Behold, the third unsolicited email from our faviort (sic) semi-coherent dating aficionado.
I am looking for a relationship in my life I am sick of being alone and nothing to share my fellings with or just to hang out.
This is particularly interesting, because in his initial correspondance, he wrote just the opposite - "I hate being alone no body to love me or share my fellings with.. or hang out with or do things ..." Oh wait, not "opposite". What is the word...
I am looking for a girl is honest sunsire and careing..
People are always commenting on my honest sunsirity.
I like to dance and like to dirty dance too...
Aha! Now I must know more about this "drity dancing" because they are clearly two different things.
...and slow music with a girl
...and romatic movies with a girl
So an evening at the "Manhole Bar & Grill" and an all-night gay porn movie festival is out then, I take it?
I like basketball and vollyball and track and swimming and love softball and... I like camping and rideing my bike..
Breathe, Tony, Breeeathe... You have plenty of time to list every activity you can almost spell.
My faviort color is blue and My second color is red because it is a shape of a heart... it is a sing of love...
Somehow, Tony managed to repeat sentiments in his first email and make even less sense, which is truly a feat. Red is a shape? A sing of love? Be warned, typing that exact sentence into Microsoft Word and doing a spelling and grammar check will crash your machine and set fire to your office.
And I work at larry air forece base
This comment really threw me at first. Earlier he mentions living in Broomfield, CO, a town I am quite familiar with, and I can attest that there is no "Larry Air Force Base" (considering that Tony Tiger commutes to work on a bicycle, I didn't bother searching too far outside of city limits). Could it be that Tony Tiger was a fraud, and I was the victim of an Internet prank, and not the perpertrator, as I had originally thought? Not so. The Air Force Base in question is "Lowery", and the poor bastard doesn't even know the name of his own employer. Of course, it's hilarious to think that he pedals by that sign every morning, thinking it says "Larry". Perhaps one day he will be promoted to head of ground mantince (see below), and once he has fulfilled his destiny of owning a car, could even transfer to "Steve's Air Force Academy" or "Bob's House of Coast Guard".
I work for ground mantince
Don't worry Tony, you're not alone! A routine Google search determined that 352 other mental midgets think that this is how you spell "maintenance"!
...soo I am tell you I am no bumb!!
No one, and I mean NO ONE, has EVER accused you of being a, you know... "bumb".
Sadly, there is but one last chapter in the Tony Tiger saga, in which rather than parade his own pathetic agenda, Tony turns the tables on Heather! Prepare your fun receptors for "Chapter 4: This is my qustion on woman!!!" coming your way whenever the hell I feel like it!
Chapter 2
Chapter 3: I tell you I am no bumb!
Oh Tony Tiger, you are truly the gift that keeps on unintenionally giving. Behold, the third unsolicited email from our faviort (sic) semi-coherent dating aficionado.
This is what i am what i do...Let's discuss!
I am looking for a relationship in my life I am sick of being alone and nothing to share my fellings with or just to hang out. I am looking for a girl is honest sunsire and careing.. And Trustfull well any ways... I am a very out going person and I am very sweet loveing guy.. I live the city called broomfeild. I like rap and r&b and slow music with a girl. I like to dance and like to dirty dance too... I like action and comdy movies and romatic movies with a girl I like scare ones too.. I like basketball and vollyball and track and swimming and love softball and... I like camping and rideing my bike.. My faviort color is blue and My second color is red because it is a shape of a heart... it is a sing of love... I am a open mind person and I am very romance too. I am easy guy to get along with... And I work at larry air forece base I work for ground mantince and I pick up trash and mow lawns and just do what ever to get the job done... And I am saveing money for my car too soo I am tell you I am no bumb!!
I am looking for a relationship in my life I am sick of being alone and nothing to share my fellings with or just to hang out.
This is particularly interesting, because in his initial correspondance, he wrote just the opposite - "I hate being alone no body to love me or share my fellings with.. or hang out with or do things ..." Oh wait, not "opposite". What is the word...
I am looking for a girl is honest sunsire and careing..
People are always commenting on my honest sunsirity.
I like to dance and like to dirty dance too...
Aha! Now I must know more about this "drity dancing" because they are clearly two different things.
...and slow music with a girl
...and romatic movies with a girl
So an evening at the "Manhole Bar & Grill" and an all-night gay porn movie festival is out then, I take it?
I like basketball and vollyball and track and swimming and love softball and... I like camping and rideing my bike..
Breathe, Tony, Breeeathe... You have plenty of time to list every activity you can almost spell.
My faviort color is blue and My second color is red because it is a shape of a heart... it is a sing of love...
Somehow, Tony managed to repeat sentiments in his first email and make even less sense, which is truly a feat. Red is a shape? A sing of love? Be warned, typing that exact sentence into Microsoft Word and doing a spelling and grammar check will crash your machine and set fire to your office.
And I work at larry air forece base
This comment really threw me at first. Earlier he mentions living in Broomfield, CO, a town I am quite familiar with, and I can attest that there is no "Larry Air Force Base" (considering that Tony Tiger commutes to work on a bicycle, I didn't bother searching too far outside of city limits). Could it be that Tony Tiger was a fraud, and I was the victim of an Internet prank, and not the perpertrator, as I had originally thought? Not so. The Air Force Base in question is "Lowery", and the poor bastard doesn't even know the name of his own employer. Of course, it's hilarious to think that he pedals by that sign every morning, thinking it says "Larry". Perhaps one day he will be promoted to head of ground mantince (see below), and once he has fulfilled his destiny of owning a car, could even transfer to "Steve's Air Force Academy" or "Bob's House of Coast Guard".
I work for ground mantince
Don't worry Tony, you're not alone! A routine Google search determined that 352 other mental midgets think that this is how you spell "maintenance"!
...soo I am tell you I am no bumb!!
No one, and I mean NO ONE, has EVER accused you of being a, you know... "bumb".
Sadly, there is but one last chapter in the Tony Tiger saga, in which rather than parade his own pathetic agenda, Tony turns the tables on Heather! Prepare your fun receptors for "Chapter 4: This is my qustion on woman!!!" coming your way whenever the hell I feel like it!
posted by Vyvyan Basterd at 9:59 AM
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