And I thought only my mother read this blog

Sure it gets about 20 hits a day, but I thought she was just hitting refresh a lot, just to make me feel better. Thanks mum!

However, this is not the case. It is now clear to me that not only do I have countless adoring fans, my detractors are growing in number as well. I discovered this courtesy of my extremely popular segment, "Why I hate blogs", which has gone without refute for months. In this recurring piece, I have thus far cleverly lampooned 14 offenders, ranging from the laughably pointless to the… seriously pointless. This went largely without notice from the owners of the Blogger accounts I ridiculed, but as soon as I began tackling LiveJournal users (whom I accurately foretold as being "gargantuan attention whores") word got out, angry emails were sent, and even angrier comments were left.

This revelation looks better in a chart, using the powers of mathematics:

Blog host Blogspot Xanga LiveJournal

Blogs lampooned 11 1 2

Whiners 1 0 2

Percent of Total 9% 0% 100%!

Let's take a look at one such moanfest, shall we? This particular debate stems from my critique of LJ user, and part-time vampire, "evilfuzzle". We're going to do this shit up Tony Tiger style, comment first, expert analysis second!

Patti said...
Their next post was the next day if not later that day, not 5 months later. (check calendar view) I think you've missed that there is a "friends only" option so that YOU are not seeing the posts that their "friended" people are seeing. (In other words, people can pick and choose who they want to be able to see what.)
As far as I know I do not know this person, but you really ought to keep your facts straight.
The people you are tearing apart may or may not be sharing a lot more to others than you can see.
(Maybe they aren't all that boring but they feel no need to share their stories with the world, or maybe they have a reason for what they’re saying that they would rather keep more private etc.)

Also, there are "info" pages that you seem to ignore.
This is your blog, and I really can't tell you what to put in here, but you should respect that other people use their journals for their own uses.

I'll give you all a moment so that your eyes may lower back to their regular position.

Their next post was the next day if not later that day, not 5 months later. (check calendar view)
Well, Patti, I checked something that vaguely resembled a calendar and it agreed that there were only five tedious posts. If there was another version of the calendar elsewhere, it's news to me; evilfuzzle took it upon himself to relabel such mundane links as "Most recent entries" and "Comment on this" with much "scarier" titles like "Fresh blood" and "Give me pain" (respectively). Since I don’t shop at Hot Topic, or cut my wrists open every time I get a C on my report card, I have no means to decipher the rest of this gibberish.

I think you've missed that there is a "friends only" option so that YOU are not seeing the posts that their "friended" people are seeing. (In other words, people can pick and choose who they want to be able to see what.)
...
The people you are tearing apart may or may not be sharing a lot more to others than you can see. (Maybe they aren't all that boring but they feel no need to share their stories with the world, or maybe they have a reason for what they're saying that they would rather keep more private etc.)
And therein lies the point I've been trying to make for WEEKS. This person clearly has what, eight, ten friends total (it can't be much more than that, considering all the rampant friend reduction - and everybody knows LJ users don’t have any real friends) – would it be so hard to just pick up the phone? Maybe send an email? Why subject the rest of God's green earth to this retardation? Is it to remind us what ingenious soliloquies the un-befriended masses are missing out on? If that's the case, I can name 6 billion people that don't care. Really, I can.

As far as I know I do not know this person, but you really ought to keep your facts straight.
Whatever, Patti… or should I call you AFTERTHOUGHT926? OK, so you pretty much gave it away in your last comment, but to my credit, I knew right away that your passive-aggressive whinging looked oddly familiar.

Also, there are "info" pages that you seem to ignore.
Yeah, I found it (finally) under the heading Twisted info. And I did discover one fact, to my horror; nobody with a two-digit age that begins with "3" should be carrying on like this. Oh, and by scrolling down I realised that apparently anything can be considered "art" if you make a rainbow out of it. Is that what I was supposed to be getting out of this?

This is your blog, and I really can't tell you what to put in here…
True, but you do provide me with plenty of material. And to think, today's post was going to be about me eating a piece of cardboard because I mistakenly assumed it was part of my sandwich!

…but you should respect that other people use their journals for their own uses.
No.


evilfuzzle and afterthought926 posing in this artist's rendition.